BUS STORY # 244 (Five Men And A Woman)

Men, Two And A Half..., originally uploaded by busboy4.

There are five of us guys and one woman riding up on the back platform. Four of the guys are late 20’s-early 30s. I’m the old guy. The woman looks in her 40s. 

The young guys get to talking conspiracy theories. Each has a story to best the previous one. All share a basic premise: you cannot trust the government. Or the politicians. Or the news. Or anyone or anything else except maybe the internet. 

The woman and I are listening, although she is pretending to read a book. I’m fascinated by the conversation, and don't realize she is listening while pretending to read until well into the story-telling and commentary. 

I pick up when I see her mouth twitch after an especially interesting comment. When I start watching her, I see her mouth twitch or her jaw clench in perfect synch with some of the more provocative stories and commentaries. And then I realize she isn’t turning the pages of the book. 

Charlie Sheen makes an appearance in the conversation. Turns out all four of these guys love “Two And A Half Men.” 

One of them says Charlie is his personal hero. 

Another says the network was stupid for firing him. Look at all the people they put out of work. 

Another says what does it matter he partied with a hooker or did a little blow? What about Clinton? 

Another says if he was getting two million bucks for thirty minutes work, he’d be doing drugs and getting laid, too. 

All of them are down with that. 

The woman’s face is working overtime to mask what her mouth and jaw betray. When the bus pulls over for a stop, she gets up and leaves the platform for one of the vacated seats up front, well out of earshot. The other guys are oblivious. 

I am momentarily transported back to grade school -- the one place where it was never more clear how much smarter and more mature the girls were than us boys. And I am particularly remembering the look on the face of one of those girls as she took in a group of us behaving like any pack of temporarily unsupervised young boys in the back of the classroom. Think Margaret reacting to Dennis the Menace. 

Maybe our classmate was right. But that was then and this is now. Our female co-rider is old enough to appreciate just how far we guys have come since grade school.   

I know I do.